[The smile on his face stays, but the more he looks at Zed -- really looks at him -- the more it starts to look just a bit more strained. Because it was, after all. And it's hard to maintain that smile when it's clear Zed is hurting now.]
...maybe, eventually, we could go back to that. I think I need some time to get used to thinking of you as just a friend again.
[As much as he wanted to think otherwise, it would be cruel to the both of them to just carry on as though nothing had changed. There's no way he can just crawl into Zed's bed now, nor enjoy the feeling of those cool and smooth hands against his face, without remembering this conversation.]
[His body language shifts, crossing one arm across himself as he takes a little step back. But the more he speaks, the harder it is to keep that smile genuine. And eventually, he'll be looking away.]
It's a little hard for me... I'm not really normal in that regard. I can't bring myself to like only one person, so... it's probably for the best, like this. You deserve someone who can give you all of their attention...
[He trails off, realizing he's not really saying that for Zed's sake. But maybe if he says it, and believes it, this won't hurt so much.]
[Zed should've known better by the way Ranpo's cat ears flatten out that he was having a hard time maintaining the facade. Maybe he just didn't want to acknowledge it. Like how being referred to as a friend makes sense even though it still stings. How could it still sting when he was set in his own decision? But it's fine, he can bear it (lesser in comparison to what Ranpo must be feeling), and he thinks he can hold his ground because it's for the best.
Yet Ranpo continues, throwing him off, making him feel...frustrated? Liking more than one person-- that can be tabled for thought another time. Ranpo implying that he's not enough, that right there is frustrating. Because it's quite the reverse between them. (And Zed has to push back the voice inside that says he didn't deserve anyone to begin with.)]
Stop. [Zed steps forward, ruining the distance between them to squeeze the detective's shoulders.] Stop, that-...that's my line.
[It feels like frustration, but Zed's face reads more like regret with his deepened frown and how he glances down at the space between them.]
No matter what you or I feel, I can't stay here forever. Which is why... [He won't make this work.] ...I'm relieved you have others to be with. So you won't be alone.
[Ranpo looks up when Zed grabs him by the shoulder, and immediately regrets it, that look on his face feeling like a vice grip on his heart. Somehow it hurts even more to hear that, to know that Zed does have feelings for him, but is refusing to act on them.]
...nothing lasts forever. That's as true here as it was back home.
[But he's not going to argue. It's not his place. If this is what Zed wants, then Ranpo just has to accept that. Even if it's painful.]
[He pulls back then, shrugging out of Zed's grip, with his expression downcast. That smile on his face is still there, but so strained he's sure Zed wouldn't believe it for a moment.]
[Ranpo pulls away, and it takes everything for Zed not to reach out to him again. He has to stand by his decision. So he allows the detective to slip away from him, hating that smile he's forcing himself to make. His hands fall limply at his sides when he nods.]
...Right. I'll see you around.
[It probably won't be for awhile while they both process this, but...eventually. Maybe. It could be quick if Ranpo goes to his other loved ones-- he really doesn't need him. Just a small heartache that will pass, he knows it.
Zed thinks of the case of beer in his fridge. He'll need that tonight.]
[Ranpo nods, turning-- and his eyes lingering for a moment on the basket. The swell of happiness he felt when Zed had pulled it out has almost entirely evaporated, leaving a quiet emptiness in its place.]
[He takes a breath as if to say something, but decides against it. And so he leaves before another word can be shared between them, leaving the basket untouched.]
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no subject
...maybe, eventually, we could go back to that. I think I need some time to get used to thinking of you as just a friend again.
[As much as he wanted to think otherwise, it would be cruel to the both of them to just carry on as though nothing had changed. There's no way he can just crawl into Zed's bed now, nor enjoy the feeling of those cool and smooth hands against his face, without remembering this conversation.]
[His body language shifts, crossing one arm across himself as he takes a little step back. But the more he speaks, the harder it is to keep that smile genuine. And eventually, he'll be looking away.]
It's a little hard for me... I'm not really normal in that regard. I can't bring myself to like only one person, so... it's probably for the best, like this. You deserve someone who can give you all of their attention...
[He trails off, realizing he's not really saying that for Zed's sake. But maybe if he says it, and believes it, this won't hurt so much.]
no subject
Yet Ranpo continues, throwing him off, making him feel...frustrated? Liking more than one person-- that can be tabled for thought another time. Ranpo implying that he's not enough, that right there is frustrating. Because it's quite the reverse between them. (And Zed has to push back the voice inside that says he didn't deserve anyone to begin with.)]
Stop. [Zed steps forward, ruining the distance between them to squeeze the detective's shoulders.] Stop, that-...that's my line.
[It feels like frustration, but Zed's face reads more like regret with his deepened frown and how he glances down at the space between them.]
No matter what you or I feel, I can't stay here forever. Which is why... [He won't make this work.] ...I'm relieved you have others to be with. So you won't be alone.
no subject
...nothing lasts forever. That's as true here as it was back home.
[But he's not going to argue. It's not his place. If this is what Zed wants, then Ranpo just has to accept that. Even if it's painful.]
[He pulls back then, shrugging out of Zed's grip, with his expression downcast. That smile on his face is still there, but so strained he's sure Zed wouldn't believe it for a moment.]
...I should go.
no subject
...Right. I'll see you around.
[It probably won't be for awhile while they both process this, but...eventually. Maybe. It could be quick if Ranpo goes to his other loved ones-- he really doesn't need him. Just a small heartache that will pass, he knows it.
Zed thinks of the case of beer in his fridge. He'll need that tonight.]
no subject
[He takes a breath as if to say something, but decides against it. And so he leaves before another word can be shared between them, leaving the basket untouched.]