[ Others have seen Kunikida cry. Not many, but -- it's certainly happened. He sees no shame in it, but then again, he wouldn't comment if he did. The last thing Ranpo needs is to have a pillar of support pick fun at him.
With a nod, Kunikida scoots even closer and wraps his arms around his friend in a tight embrace. For a few moments, he doesn't speak; he feels no need to. But he does eventually decide to at least state that he has no intentions of going anywhere this evening. To give that extra bit of comfort in this trying time. ]
I won't go anywhere unless you tell me to. I'm assuming you have a spare bed, but if not, I'll sleep on the couch or the floor.
[Ah. The hug is exactly what he needed, and for a few moments, he just leans into it. This kind of comfort wasn't the sort he ever sought out back home, but here? Things were different.]
Come on, you won't have to sleep on the floor. You can just sleep in my bed.
[You know, since he and Atsushi are dating, and he usually sleeps in his bed instead of his own.]
[ Hugs aren't something the blond is particularly used to giving, but circumstances have called for one. He's beyond elated that this hug has seemed to help Ranpo feel a bit better, evidenced by how he smiles once he pulls back. ]
I appreciate that.
[ He really does, but if he had to sleep on the floor, he totally would have without question. ]
For now, do you need anything else? Would you like to talk about anything? I won't ask questions; I'll just listen.
...I don't know. Maybe talking it out will make me feel better.
I know I don't have to rationalize breaking up with someone. But I still feel pretty lousy for it. We were both yelling, and just... [He sighs] When I invited her over, it felt like she already knew in her head how things would go. She wasn't even trying to talk to me. Just... talking at me.
[...]
Which I guess I'm sorta doing to you right now, but-- see, I'm not trying to have a break-up with you, so that's different.
A relationship goes both ways. If you weren't being given something equivalent to what you were giving out, then I think you've made the right choice. I'm not simply saying that because you're a close friend of mine. I most likely would have done the same thing.
[ His expression falls slightly, then, as if he's worried he's saying too much. Even though he's holding true and not asking questions, he still fears that he's prying. ]
It's nice to hear that from someone else. It's hard not to feel like I was being selfish for wanting more.
[More so, perhaps, because he had other partners who do provide support when he needs it. But he tries not to see all his relationships as a single thing, acknowledging that he needs to give and take from them equally -- and he should expect the same in turn.]
Even now, it doesn't feel fair to say she didn't treat me well. I know she tried, but... it just felt like I was the only one trying to make us-- make her happy. Even when I wasn't.
For as much as I like living here... I've been through a lot of really hard times, too. And she was never really there for me when I needed her, unless I asked her to be. And even then...
[So many moments stand out in his mind. The incident in December, when he was in the hospital and she was baffled that he asked her to hold his hand, when he told her about his "death" and she tried to punch him and lecture him for being pessimistic about it, when he asked for a kiss to celebrate learning he was alive and she brushed him off...]
[ Ranpo is one of the few people here, in this city, that Kunikida can safely say he really trusts. He trusts the decisions that the older man makes, too, which means that even though this newly-severed relationship sounds as if it were doomed from the start, he's certain that Ranpo knew what he was doing. That originally, his ex did care about him.
He refuses to believe that Ranpo, of all people, would have missed that.
With a delicate pat of his hand against the older detective's shoulder, Kunikida nods. ]
I can't state whether she liked you or not, but I trust you. I trust that you wouldn't have been with her for as long as you had if you felt she didn't care.
[ He bites his lip, momentarily wondering about the times Ranpo needed her and had to ask her to be there. What sort of things did he go through? If the blond had any idea ...
Well, he most likely would let his emotions overtake him. He's supposed to be the strong one here, though, so perhaps it's better left unknown. ]
[Knowing that Kunikida still trusts his judgement, considering the mistakes he's made in the past, means so much to him. It's enough to bring a smile back to his face, even if his heart still isn't quite in it.]
I know you're right, but-- you know, I do have a blindspot. It's never one I had to deal with very much anymore at home, but when I was kid, I had a really hard time telling exactly how people felt about me.
Even now... it's hard to tell sometimes, what people really think about me.
[Which might just be a factor in why he comes off as insensitive to others' feelings. He can read and predict their actions, but he can't tell just how much or how little someone cares about him if they aren't keen on showing it.]
[Which is all the more reason he and Inaba just weren't compatible. Because she likely assumed she just didn't need to spell it out for him that she cared.]
[ He nods softly, though after he hears the part about Ranpo's inability to know how others feel, he stops. Eyes focus on the other's, and his lips tighten a slight bit.
He's not quite sure what to say; if anything, he too never quite knows what others think. ]
Unless someone outright expresses how they feel about you, it's very difficult to figure out. The last thing you would want to do is assume.
[ He takes a deep breath. ]
Even you, the one who I trust to deduce anything, should be told how others feel. I hope I've made it clear how much our friendship means to me.
[ Finally, his expression softens. ]
I know many people do love you and care for you, and have shown you the courtesy of telling you. Try not to let the ones who didn't or don't get to you too much.
Of course. The ones close to you should know that by now, I think. [ He certainly does; if anything, he clearly remembers the times Fukuzawa offered to praise Ranpo if he helped the Agency out. It's a last resort type of thing, but it always works. ]
I'm glad. If you ever need me for talks like this, you know where to find me. Or how to contact me. [ If he's at work, though, it'd better be an emergency! ]
[And with the heavy conversations out of the way, they proceeded to have a pleasant night that probably ended with Ranpo using those sad kitty ears to convince everyone to sleep in the same bed and cuddle him to sleep.]
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With a nod, Kunikida scoots even closer and wraps his arms around his friend in a tight embrace. For a few moments, he doesn't speak; he feels no need to. But he does eventually decide to at least state that he has no intentions of going anywhere this evening. To give that extra bit of comfort in this trying time. ]
I won't go anywhere unless you tell me to. I'm assuming you have a spare bed, but if not, I'll sleep on the couch or the floor.
no subject
Come on, you won't have to sleep on the floor. You can just sleep in my bed.
[You know, since he and Atsushi are dating, and he usually sleeps in his bed instead of his own.]
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I appreciate that.
[ He really does, but if he had to sleep on the floor, he totally would have without question. ]
For now, do you need anything else? Would you like to talk about anything? I won't ask questions; I'll just listen.
no subject
I know I don't have to rationalize breaking up with someone. But I still feel pretty lousy for it. We were both yelling, and just... [He sighs] When I invited her over, it felt like she already knew in her head how things would go. She wasn't even trying to talk to me. Just... talking at me.
[...]
Which I guess I'm sorta doing to you right now, but-- see, I'm not trying to have a break-up with you, so that's different.
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[ His expression falls slightly, then, as if he's worried he's saying too much. Even though he's holding true and not asking questions, he still fears that he's prying. ]
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[More so, perhaps, because he had other partners who do provide support when he needs it. But he tries not to see all his relationships as a single thing, acknowledging that he needs to give and take from them equally -- and he should expect the same in turn.]
Even now, it doesn't feel fair to say she didn't treat me well. I know she tried, but... it just felt like I was the only one trying to make us-- make her happy. Even when I wasn't.
For as much as I like living here... I've been through a lot of really hard times, too. And she was never really there for me when I needed her, unless I asked her to be. And even then...
[So many moments stand out in his mind. The incident in December, when he was in the hospital and she was baffled that he asked her to hold his hand, when he told her about his "death" and she tried to punch him and lecture him for being pessimistic about it, when he asked for a kiss to celebrate learning he was alive and she brushed him off...]
...I still wonder how much of me she even liked.
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He refuses to believe that Ranpo, of all people, would have missed that.
With a delicate pat of his hand against the older detective's shoulder, Kunikida nods. ]
I can't state whether she liked you or not, but I trust you. I trust that you wouldn't have been with her for as long as you had if you felt she didn't care.
[ He bites his lip, momentarily wondering about the times Ranpo needed her and had to ask her to be there. What sort of things did he go through? If the blond had any idea ...
Well, he most likely would let his emotions overtake him. He's supposed to be the strong one here, though, so perhaps it's better left unknown. ]
no subject
I know you're right, but-- you know, I do have a blindspot. It's never one I had to deal with very much anymore at home, but when I was kid, I had a really hard time telling exactly how people felt about me.
Even now... it's hard to tell sometimes, what people really think about me.
[Which might just be a factor in why he comes off as insensitive to others' feelings. He can read and predict their actions, but he can't tell just how much or how little someone cares about him if they aren't keen on showing it.]
[Which is all the more reason he and Inaba just weren't compatible. Because she likely assumed she just didn't need to spell it out for him that she cared.]
no subject
He's not quite sure what to say; if anything, he too never quite knows what others think. ]
Unless someone outright expresses how they feel about you, it's very difficult to figure out. The last thing you would want to do is assume.
[ He takes a deep breath. ]
Even you, the one who I trust to deduce anything, should be told how others feel. I hope I've made it clear how much our friendship means to me.
[ Finally, his expression softens. ]
I know many people do love you and care for you, and have shown you the courtesy of telling you. Try not to let the ones who didn't or don't get to you too much.
no subject
[Of course Ranpo "Praise Kink" Edogawa wants to hear how much his friends like him.]
[But there's an earnest smile on his face now, as he takes the opportunity to lean against Kunikida's shoulder.]
But-- thank you. I really do feel better, talking it all out like this.
no subject
Of course. The ones close to you should know that by now, I think. [ He certainly does; if anything, he clearly remembers the times Fukuzawa offered to praise Ranpo if he helped the Agency out. It's a last resort type of thing, but it always works. ]
I'm glad. If you ever need me for talks like this, you know where to find me. Or how to contact me. [ If he's at work, though, it'd better be an emergency! ]
/wraps this up!!
[And with the heavy conversations out of the way, they proceeded to have a pleasant night that probably ended with Ranpo using those sad kitty ears to convince everyone to sleep in the same bed and cuddle him to sleep.]