...I guess it would just sound like teasing to you, huh.
[But he's not just bringing this up spontaneously. Or at least, there's a reason for it.]
But I really do wanna get married someday. I probably think about more than you realize, since... I don't really talk about it with you.
[He said before there were things he was afraid to bring up with Poe, knowing he might feel jealous. Things that go deeper than just what he does with his other partners.]
Not that I don't think about it with-- with us, but... I don't know how fair it would be, to marry anyone when I can't marry everyone.
[He mumbles with ambivalence. Getting married and settling down has never crossed Poe's mind, or at least, not in the past few years. Suddenly restless Poe sits up to be more attentive to the subject at hand. Yet remaining oddly level headed despite his track record of being green with envy.
It's something he has to think about. Because realistically 1. he knows of at least one of Ranpo's other significant others who is far better suited to being married through previous experience 2. even if the idea makes his stomach sick with fluttering butterflies how would it be for someone to be tied to him? He knows they're both can be difficult personalities.
But more to the point. Poe said he'd try harder. So when he elaborates it's sounds very matter of fact.]
I should've realized something like that sooner. But surely you've realized there's no laws for monogamy here whatsoever... right?
[He grips the front of his own shirt with some apprehension.]
Regardless, it should be something you actually talk to everyone about...
[But there's no way he could have brought it up before something like this, really. Even with Atsushi, it was only a coincidence that it came up earlier.]
And I know there aren't laws against it here. But-- well, for us, I don't think we'd be ready for a step like that yet. It feels too soon, and I don't want to ruin anything by rushing.
[That and, as he was pointing out initially, it's not like they won't have each other back home, too. Even considering how different things are here, he's not convinced things wouldn't end up like this eventually between them.]
[...it just might take an extra ten or twenty years, but u know]
[There's relief, light and soothing, in knowing Ranpo doesn't want to rush anything either. But he still wants to keep Poe. So he sighs, not out of any negative feeling, but because he's alleviated. It won't nix every apprehension he has but it's solid footing.
With the way this place is some aspects of their relationship have been rushed. Forced, more like. Maybe they even needed it, at the time, or else they'd still be beating around the bush for the next two decades. But the privilege of choice is nice.]
I feel the same way. Rather, I would like to take my time with you. Whatever that entails in the future... I want it.
[Don't look at him directly Ranpo he's being tender. He's turning his head away again because Poe is still to shy to say this shit while also maintaining eye contact.]
[It's devastating to feel so much. Convenient that Ranpo moves to kiss him so he doesn't have to respond immediately. What could he say besides an emphatic "thank you"? Of course Poe's not so shy that he'll reject a kiss from his boyfriend in private. So his eyelashes flutter shut and he goes pliant enough for Ranpo to guide him before he takes enough initiative himself to push up into it.
A sweet kiss to seal what sounds like a promise and understanding between them.]
[For a conversation that ultimately ended with deciding not to take action, it feels like they've taken an important step together all the same. His own heart flutters in his chest as Poe leans into the kiss, making Ranpo reluctant to pull back. But when he does, it's with his hand on Poe's cheek, and a look on his face that's practically covered in adoration.]
[Ah, to be regarded with such naked affection. It's like flying high with no worries at all. Thus love is a terrible affliction that Poe has come to crave. He gently cups the hand laying on his cheek like it's something precious- because it is.]
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[But he's not just bringing this up spontaneously. Or at least, there's a reason for it.]
But I really do wanna get married someday. I probably think about more than you realize, since... I don't really talk about it with you.
[He said before there were things he was afraid to bring up with Poe, knowing he might feel jealous. Things that go deeper than just what he does with his other partners.]
Not that I don't think about it with-- with us, but... I don't know how fair it would be, to marry anyone when I can't marry everyone.
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[He mumbles with ambivalence. Getting married and settling down has never crossed Poe's mind, or at least, not in the past few years. Suddenly restless Poe sits up to be more attentive to the subject at hand. Yet remaining oddly level headed despite his track record of being green with envy.
It's something he has to think about. Because realistically 1. he knows of at least one of Ranpo's other significant others who is far better suited to being married through previous experience 2. even if the idea makes his stomach sick with fluttering butterflies how would it be for someone to be tied to him? He knows they're both can be difficult personalities.
But more to the point. Poe said he'd try harder. So when he elaborates it's sounds very matter of fact.]
I should've realized something like that sooner. But surely you've realized there's no laws for monogamy here whatsoever... right?
[He grips the front of his own shirt with some apprehension.]
Regardless, it should be something you actually talk to everyone about...
no subject
[But there's no way he could have brought it up before something like this, really. Even with Atsushi, it was only a coincidence that it came up earlier.]
And I know there aren't laws against it here. But-- well, for us, I don't think we'd be ready for a step like that yet. It feels too soon, and I don't want to ruin anything by rushing.
[That and, as he was pointing out initially, it's not like they won't have each other back home, too. Even considering how different things are here, he's not convinced things wouldn't end up like this eventually between them.]
[...it just might take an extra ten or twenty years, but u know]
no subject
[There's relief, light and soothing, in knowing Ranpo doesn't want to rush anything either. But he still wants to keep Poe. So he sighs, not out of any negative feeling, but because he's alleviated. It won't nix every apprehension he has but it's solid footing.
With the way this place is some aspects of their relationship have been rushed. Forced, more like. Maybe they even needed it, at the time, or else they'd still be beating around the bush for the next two decades. But the privilege of choice is nice.]
I feel the same way. Rather, I would like to take my time with you. Whatever that entails in the future... I want it.
[Don't look at him directly Ranpo he's being tender. He's turning his head away again because Poe is still to shy to say this shit while also maintaining eye contact.]
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I want it, too. I can't predict what the future will bring, but I know I want you there with me.
[And now-- will he let him turn his cheek so he can plant a soft kiss on his lips? He'll go for the cheek if his shyness fights it.]
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A sweet kiss to seal what sounds like a promise and understanding between them.]
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I love you, Edgar.
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I love you too, Ranpo.
/tucks this in