Inbox (super_deduction)

[sweetsleuth]

Comments

[sweetsleuth]

no its fine were on a date!!

[Ranpo has also not noticed how many recipients are being added to this conversation. Why does this app have a select all option for messages anyway? Who does that??]

[tigerpoet]

As long as you aren't too drunk and he takes care of you properly, there's nothing to worry about.

You two have fun.

[sweetsleuth]

i might be a little too drunk
but its fine because kunikida is the most vertuos
wait
virtgnous
virgin
no
v i r t u o u s
person in the whoe agency so as lpng as hes here well be okay!!

why is typing so hard

[tigerpoet]

That can happen when you drink.

I know Kunikida wouldn't do anything bad. I'm sure even Yosano-sensei would know that, although maybe not on the triple moon.

[Sanguis tendencies...]

[sweetsleuth]

its okay i brought a water bottle if he does something bad

[Insert photo of a mini squirt bottle here.]

[tigerpoet]

Don't tell Kunikida I laughed.

[sweetsleuth]

your secret is safe with me!

[Except for the part where he's included in this text too, oops.]

[tigerpoet]

[Big oops.]

Thank you. I don't want him to think I don't like him, even if the spray bottle is funny.

[sweetsleuth]

[And then, suddenly: a picture of Kunikida, all nicely dressed, right after spilling his own drink all over himself.]

uh oh i think hes drunker than me
taking him home

[tigerpoet]

[OH NO... Atsushi doesn't save this picture.]

Please take care of him, and let me know if you need any help and I'll come right away.

[sweetsleuth]

[There is a good chunk of silence from the other side.]

[Until a picture comes through of a sign posted in the back of a taxi.]

is there only one taxi driver in lunatia or did i really get into the same one as last time??

[For the record-- he thinks he's texting this to Yosano.]

[tigerpoet]

[Who actually says fornication...]

What happened last time?

[sweetsleuth]

what?? you were there??
wait
oh
i meant to send this to yosano-san sorry

[He still does not realize the true gravity of his error.]

[tigerpoet]

It's okay, you're not the first person to mistext under the influence.

I imagine making out in the backseat of taxis is a common problem in Lunatia? Maybe they all have that sign.

[sweetsleuth]

[Ranpo doesn't reply for a bit after that.]

[He does, however, send a reply containing only a photo of himself, grinning playfully at the camera with his hair messy and clothes askew, his shirt hanging off his shoulder.]

[This was also not meant for Atsushi. And he won't reply for a little while after.]

[tigerpoet]

Ranpo I'm very flattered but why are you sending me suggestive selfies while you're with Kunikida.

[Con...cern...?]

[sweetsleuth]

[AND ABOUT A HALF HOUR LATER--]

what
i didn't send this to you??
why did


fuck

[HE'S SEEING THAT "SEND TO" LIST NOW OH JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL]

[And why yes, everyone is still seeing these messages.]

[tigerpoet]

[Also taking a second to look at that group list...]

If it helps, I don't think you sent anything too racy?

[sweetsleuth]

sldkfsdf
im never drinking again
everything is awful

[He's being a little dramatic rn but to be fair he's still drunk, feels sick, and Things did not go as planned.]

[tigerpoet]

There, there.

[sweetsleuth]

atsushisan it was awful
he dropped me and then i gt sick
i still feel sick
and grpss
ugh

[tigerpoet]

I'm so sorry. Do you have anything light you can eat to help settle your stomach, like toast or unsalted crackers?

[sweetsleuth]

kunikidakun gave me somthing for nasuea
and some water
im lying down now
but i landed weird and my back really hurts

[A WHINY BABY]

[tigerpoet]

Try to get some sleep. In the morning, if you can keep food down you can take a painkiller, but don't take one on an empty stomach.

If you want, I can come check on you tomorrow.

[sweetsleuth]

you wont see my tomorrow cause im gonna find another planet and hide there until no one here remembers i did this
or maybe just hide under my bed

[Literally, his life is over.]