We probably should have. But now's as good a time as any, right?
[Maybe this would be a conversation best had in person. But then, it might also be easier for them to have it like this. There's a reason they tended to dance around the subject, after all.]
I already told you it doesn't bother me if you want to be with other people besides me. Even if it were more than just physical. And I really mean that! I don't get jealous about things like that.
But I'm not going to pretend it never bothered me that you did. And I still worry about talking to you about certain things because of it. Even if I know you can't help it.
[Although he wishes to throw his phone down and wait for this to resolve itself. Even though he knows it won't.]
I often overthink and allow my own insecurities to get the best of me. As much as I hate to admit it. Thinking of ways to stop being that kind of person drives me to madness at times. But I should've never let it cause you grief like this. I'm sorry. I can't ask for any forgiveness for it. However going forward I'd like to be better. If it's possible... Little by little...
["I don't deserve it but please be patient with me."]
Since you can't see my face right now: I'm smiling reading all of this.
[Ranpo never held Poe's feelings against him. In a weird way, it made him happy knowing Poe still wanted to be with him, despite the fact that it was so difficult to come to terms with Ranpo's polyamory.]
But you know, maybe we've been going about this the wrong way. We're dating, and this is something that affects both of us. So we should be working on it together!
Do you think it would help if I talked about my other partners with you sometimes?
[Well? He does like the idea of working together with Ranpo. This is merely a new context for it.]
You're suggesting that as a potential means of desensitization. No, rather it humanizes everyone involved. I aware that they must make you happy. Just not how. So it's certainly worth a try...
[And yet Poe is the one who gets called Master smh]
[And when Poe arrives, Ranpo throws the door open with a big smile. He's still in his pajamas since uh. He's been spending the whole day sitting on an icepack. Which means he still has some visible marks from yesterday too, even if most of the have been healed away from the moonlacing itself.]
[Poe considers the benefits of reaching past Ranpo to shut the door in his face even if he's the one standing outside. Instead he'll pushes the bag of recently store purchased junk food into the detective's arms. "Sorry for contributing to making your ass and feelings hurt" tax.]
You'll have to try harder than that.
[He's onto you, demon. Poe was anticipating this much. He's smiling... a little bit... at the antics.]
[He beams when he's given the snacks, immediately digging into them as he heads back to the couch... l-limping in a very obvious way for very obvious reasons. Too much dick. He has a very soft pillow with an ice pack to sit on, at least.]
Oh? Then what if I let you rest your head in my lap while I pet your hair and tell you all the reasons I love you?
[Because that's totally why he invited him over, right?? Technically, yes.]
[Alright, that was a much better attempt. It causes Poe to hover timidly in the entryway. Doesn't help that Ranpo is limping so obviously too. It's easy to catch up but he hesitates before sitting... Because how can he play this off as him not being as eager as he is about that idea? It sounds so nice.]
If-... If that's what you want to do. [Reluctant mumble.] But didn't I come here to hear you talk about something else?
[For a moment Poe really does hold out. But by the time the alternating knee tip-tappies come out he's giving in and very stiffly resting his head in Ranpo's lap as requested. Curled up into a ball on his side facing outward if only to make that display stop. Don't look at him like that...]
[But who's really winning here, because the moment Poe's head is in Ranpo's lap, he starts gently petting at his hair. And in case he needed proof Ranpo liked giving this kind of affection as much as he likes receiving it -- a soft purr rumbles out of his chest, too.]
Hmm, now let's see... where should I start? How much fun you are to talk to? Or how cute you look when you blush up to your ears?
[Time for Poe to learn a true appreciation for praise kink.]
[If it were someone else mussing up his hair like this he would be apprehensive. But it's Ranpo- he trusts Ranpo implicitly. So Poe melts into the touch immediately. The tension from his shoulders and down will be next to follow. Because each stroke to his hair feels impossibly more gentle and intimate than the previous. Poe grips the fabric over his own chest and tries to holds back a range of complicated emotions.]
There it is again. Cute? You're certainly not the only person to say so by this point but I don't understand how that could be.
[He stutters, blushing up to his ears, just like Ranpo just said. He feels warmer with each word. Silly lad still thinks this is an equal back and forth exchange.]
A-and, of course, I wouldn't be a very good rival if I didn't know how to engage you in conversation.
[Like right now. He can practically see the tension leaving Poe's body with every additional stroke of his hair. It makes him feel glad he insisted on this position... even if it was partially because it's harder to ice his ass laying down.]
[He thinks of what to say next, whether to tease or pull out another compliment. But instead, he opts for an honest answer -- how does Poe make him happy?]
But you know... you make me feel like I can do anything.
With everything that's happened here, and what I thought had happened back home... sometimes it's hard to still think of myself as a master detective. But when I'm with you, none of that matters. Because you believe in me, even when I can't believe in myself.
I don't think I can really put into words how much that means to me.
[As much as Poe protests his heart feels fuller and fuller with every second more he gets this kind of attention from his dearest. It feels like it's pounding impossibly loud in his chest. But that isn't the end of what Ranpo has to say. His breath hitches with indignance he still feels towards the circumstances that brought Ranpo to his knees.]
Your inherent worth is the thing that can't be put into words. But I promise that I'll do my best to remind you of it for as long as I still draw enough breath to do it.
[He reaches up to gently cup the side of Ranpo's face with a minutely trembling hand. Naked affection overflowing in the gaze that studies every bit of Ranpo's face. ya boy is so lovesick.]
[For what it's worth, his face isn't the only one getting red. His own cheeks burn just a bit brighter when he feels Poe's hand against his cheek, encouraging him to reach up and rest his own over it. The lovesickness is mutual.]
[But he's still a tease, so--]
When you say it like that, it almost sounds like a proposal.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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...It was Atsushi.
I think he could tell I wanted him to.
We didn't make-out, no.
He was very gentle.
Does that much satisfy you?
1/2
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But that doesn't mean we're done talking about it, sorry.
How do you feel about it?
Kissing people other than me?
1/2 shitposting
2/2
Immensely guilt-ridden.
If I am being entirely honest.
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Because of how jealous you got when it was me?
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Perhaps we should've talked about that first.
[No use denying it. They both KNOW.]
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But now's as good a time as any, right?
[Maybe this would be a conversation best had in person. But then, it might also be easier for them to have it like this. There's a reason they tended to dance around the subject, after all.]
I already told you it doesn't bother me if you want to be with other people besides me.
Even if it were more than just physical.
And I really mean that!
I don't get jealous about things like that.
But I'm not going to pretend it never bothered me that you did.
And I still worry about talking to you about certain things because of it.
Even if I know you can't help it.
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[Although he wishes to throw his phone down and wait for this to resolve itself. Even though he knows it won't.]
I often overthink and allow my own insecurities to get the best of me. As much as I hate to admit it.
Thinking of ways to stop being that kind of person drives me to madness at times.
But I should've never let it cause you grief like this. I'm sorry. I can't ask for any forgiveness for it.
However going forward I'd like to be better. If it's possible... Little by little...
["I don't deserve it but please be patient with me."]
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[Ranpo never held Poe's feelings against him. In a weird way, it made him happy knowing Poe still wanted to be with him, despite the fact that it was so difficult to come to terms with Ranpo's polyamory.]
But you know, maybe we've been going about this the wrong way.
We're dating, and this is something that affects both of us.
So we should be working on it together!
Do you think it would help if I talked about my other partners with you sometimes?
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You're suggesting that as a potential means of desensitization. No, rather it humanizes everyone involved.
I aware that they must make you happy. Just not how.
So it's certainly worth a try...
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How everyone makes me happy?
Cause I think I'd rather talk about that in person, so I can see how red your face gets when I get to you.
[This is a serious discussion so naturally he has to be a goblin about it.]
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Yes...
I doubt that I get as red as you say.
But I'll be right over...
Since this is better discussed in person.
[Maybe he's a little masochistic dating such a gremlin? He's about to bring a snack offering over on top of it too.]
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See you when you get here!
<3
[And yet Poe is the one who gets called Master smh]
[And when Poe arrives, Ranpo throws the door open with a big smile. He's still in his pajamas since uh. He's been spending the whole day sitting on an icepack. Which means he still has some visible marks from yesterday too, even if most of the have been healed away from the moonlacing itself.]
[But also, cause he's gotta--]
Morning, Maaaster~
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[Poe considers the benefits of reaching past Ranpo to shut the door in his face even if he's the one standing outside. Instead he'll pushes the bag of recently store purchased junk food into the detective's arms. "Sorry for contributing to making your ass and feelings hurt" tax.]
You'll have to try harder than that.
[He's onto you, demon. Poe was anticipating this much. He's smiling... a little bit... at the antics.]
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Oh? Then what if I let you rest your head in my lap while I pet your hair and tell you all the reasons I love you?
[Because that's totally why he invited him over, right?? Technically, yes.]
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If-... If that's what you want to do. [Reluctant mumble.] But didn't I come here to hear you talk about something else?
[For now Poe takes a seat beside Ranpo.]
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[That said]
[He was 100% serious]
[And is gonna try and entice Poe to lay down.]
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[For a moment Poe really does hold out. But by the time the alternating knee tip-tappies come out he's giving in and very stiffly resting his head in Ranpo's lap as requested. Curled up into a ball on his side facing outward if only to make that display stop. Don't look at him like that...]
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[But who's really winning here, because the moment Poe's head is in Ranpo's lap, he starts gently petting at his hair. And in case he needed proof Ranpo liked giving this kind of affection as much as he likes receiving it -- a soft purr rumbles out of his chest, too.]
Hmm, now let's see... where should I start? How much fun you are to talk to? Or how cute you look when you blush up to your ears?
[Time for Poe to learn a true appreciation for praise kink.]
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There it is again. Cute? You're certainly not the only person to say so by this point but I don't understand how that could be.
[He stutters, blushing up to his ears, just like Ranpo just said. He feels warmer with each word. Silly lad still thinks this is an equal back and forth exchange.]
A-and, of course, I wouldn't be a very good rival if I didn't know how to engage you in conversation.
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[Like right now. He can practically see the tension leaving Poe's body with every additional stroke of his hair. It makes him feel glad he insisted on this position... even if it was partially because it's harder to ice his ass laying down.]
[He thinks of what to say next, whether to tease or pull out another compliment. But instead, he opts for an honest answer -- how does Poe make him happy?]
But you know... you make me feel like I can do anything.
With everything that's happened here, and what I thought had happened back home... sometimes it's hard to still think of myself as a master detective. But when I'm with you, none of that matters. Because you believe in me, even when I can't believe in myself.
I don't think I can really put into words how much that means to me.
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[As much as Poe protests his heart feels fuller and fuller with every second more he gets this kind of attention from his dearest. It feels like it's pounding impossibly loud in his chest. But that isn't the end of what Ranpo has to say. His breath hitches with indignance he still feels towards the circumstances that brought Ranpo to his knees.]
Your inherent worth is the thing that can't be put into words. But I promise that I'll do my best to remind you of it for as long as I still draw enough breath to do it.
[He reaches up to gently cup the side of Ranpo's face with a minutely trembling hand. Naked affection overflowing in the gaze that studies every bit of Ranpo's face. ya boy is so lovesick.]
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[But he's still a tease, so--]
When you say it like that, it almost sounds like a proposal.
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T-There are less lackluster ways to make a proposal. Joke's aside- I- mean it no matter what happens, so...
[But he knows that Ranpo is teasing so his eyebrows pinch together while Poe tilts his head away to examine the ceiling.]
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/tucks this in