[Atsushi finally, finally looks up from his bow, though his body language still betrays meekness. He's genuinely mortified by a lot of things he did the past three days... and while a large part of it was straight up horniness, he knows he genuinely upset Ranpo with how he'd stormed out.
He'll carry the cake into the apartment, shuffling along and glancing around nervously.]
[He gestures for him to put the cake on the counter -- he's going to eat that whole thing before Yosano gets home and no one can stop him -- before taking a seat at their kitchen table.]
...for the record, I'm not mad at you for what you did.
[POINTS AT HIM AGAIN pointing is so rude Ranpo stop that]
I'm mad because of what you didn't do. You should have told me you were hiding me with an illusion. I'm not used to magic being a thing yet -- it's harder to predict since it has less rules than abilities do.
Atsushi sets it on the counter carefully, still looking like he'd very much like to redirect his gaze to the floor. He's bad at this... but Ranpo deserves his full attention, especially since he's allowed him inside and didn't slam the door in his face.]
I'm sorry... At the time, I thought it would make... T-The experience better for you if you didn't know, but that's really no excuse for it, especially when I wasn't thinking about the right things. I wasn't thinking about how it would make you feel after.
[He'd lied to him, basically. He should have realized at the time it wasn't right, but...]
He'd felt guilty before, but that was nothing compared to the guilt he felt now.
Maybe Ranpo said it wasn't his fault, but the fact he'd felt gross after, was....
It felt bad. Incredibly, nauseously bad. And maybe Ranpo said it wasn't his fault, but he'd still initiated the things that led to that feeling. Whatever lingering blush might remain from earlier had drained from his face, leaving him pale and horrified.]
I-I'm sorry. I never wanted... I didn't want anything we did to make you feel that way. Not ever. You're not... you're not gross, Ranpo-san.
[Ranpo you can't keep doing this, Atsushi's going to rupture something at this rate.
First he's paling from horror, and then his face is starting to redden again. He's going to get dizzy at this rate... though he already kind of feels that way, at that question. He rests one hand on the countertop, totally not to keep himself upright and from crumbling into a pile of mortification.]
I... went to visit him to see how he was doing, yes.
[He hadn't even realized Sanguis would be his moonblessing until he'd pinned him to a wall.]
I-I mean.... I don't think that makes you a bad person? A kinky one, maybe, but... Um... You can't really help what you enjoy, right? A-And it's not like you made other people watch you or anything...!
[Honestly he's trying his best to be reassuring here, but also... RIP Ranpo.]
...It's not the strangest thing you could be enjoying, sex wise?
[#Nailedit
But also, he's fucking Dazai, he's had Experiences.]
...I-I got shot with a drug called 'glow' during a big fight that made me a little... animalistic. Okay, a lot.
[Stiiiiilll not looking at Ranpo. This is embarrassing enough without seeing the judgement okay!]
...The only way to cure it was getting someone to offer you Chroma. I sort of... well... P-Pinned him to a wall and... bit him. And clawed him. A lot. There was blood and--
[He grimaces.]
....He really, really liked it. A lot.
[That is the understatement of the century Atsushi.]
Atsushi, do you really think I'm going to be shocked to hear Dazai-kun is a masochist?
Have you seen the way he gets when Kunikida-kun manhandles him? I'd be more shocked to hear he likes it gentle.
[And yes, he is taking into consideration that Atsushi is probably not exaggerating when he says a lot. No doubt Dazai's depravity ran deeper than either of the could fathom.]
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Really? Aloud, in the hallway, where anyone could--
Atsushi's face is flaming, he won't even lift his head from where it's bowed.]
F-For... T-Talking you into l-letting me... give you a blowjob in p-public....
[His voice comes out a pathetic, tiny squeak on the last bit.]
A-And for teasing you about things a-after.
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[He sighs, and then turns and holds the door open for him.]
Come on, in.
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[Atsushi finally, finally looks up from his bow, though his body language still betrays meekness. He's genuinely mortified by a lot of things he did the past three days... and while a large part of it was straight up horniness, he knows he genuinely upset Ranpo with how he'd stormed out.
He'll carry the cake into the apartment, shuffling along and glancing around nervously.]
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...for the record, I'm not mad at you for what you did.
[POINTS AT HIM AGAIN pointing is so rude Ranpo stop that]
I'm mad because of what you didn't do. You should have told me you were hiding me with an illusion. I'm not used to magic being a thing yet -- it's harder to predict since it has less rules than abilities do.
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Atsushi sets it on the counter carefully, still looking like he'd very much like to redirect his gaze to the floor. He's bad at this... but Ranpo deserves his full attention, especially since he's allowed him inside and didn't slam the door in his face.]
I'm sorry... At the time, I thought it would make... T-The experience better for you if you didn't know, but that's really no excuse for it, especially when I wasn't thinking about the right things. I wasn't thinking about how it would make you feel after.
[He'd lied to him, basically. He should have realized at the time it wasn't right, but...]
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[He crosses his arms, shifting uncomfortably in his seat as he averts his eyes.]
[Surely, Atsushi must feel terribly guilty right now. But Ranpo wouldn't be mad if he weren't also upset.]
...I don't like that I liked it so much. I felt... gross, afterward. But that's not your fault.
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[...oh.
He'd felt guilty before, but that was nothing compared to the guilt he felt now.
Maybe Ranpo said it wasn't his fault, but the fact he'd felt gross after, was....
It felt bad. Incredibly, nauseously bad. And maybe Ranpo said it wasn't his fault, but he'd still initiated the things that led to that feeling. Whatever lingering blush might remain from earlier had drained from his face, leaving him pale and horrified.]
I-I'm sorry. I never wanted... I didn't want anything we did to make you feel that way. Not ever. You're not... you're not gross, Ranpo-san.
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Wait, that's-- that's not what I meant! It really had nothing to do with anything you did! It was... well...
[How does he explain this when he doesn't really want to explain this.]
[...]
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First he's paling from horror, and then his face is starting to redden again. He's going to get dizzy at this rate... though he already kind of feels that way, at that question. He rests one hand on the countertop, totally not to keep himself upright and from crumbling into a pile of mortification.]
I... went to visit him to see how he was doing, yes.
[He hadn't even realized Sanguis would be his moonblessing until he'd pinned him to a wall.]
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[...]
I ran into him in the street.
[Is he gonna have to connect the dots here or is Atsushi good]
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Did he-- in the street?!
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[Oh god, now Ranpo's covering his face in shame.]
[Because he liked that, too. Probably too much.]
...I'm beginning to think I might be an exhibitionist. And I can't even blame the moons for that.
[Yes, the real reason he's upset is because he's aggressively kink-shaming himself.]
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Oh. Um... hm.
That's...]
I-I mean.... I don't think that makes you a bad person? A kinky one, maybe, but... Um... You can't really help what you enjoy, right? A-And it's not like you made other people watch you or anything...!
[Honestly he's trying his best to be reassuring here, but also... RIP Ranpo.]
...It's not the strangest thing you could be enjoying, sex wise?
[#Nailedit
But also, he's fucking Dazai, he's had Experiences.]
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That's not very reassuring.
[...]
And you're not allowed to judge me when you're the one who sucked me off in the middle of a cafe.
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I-I wasn't thinking clearly, alright?! It was just... I liked the idea of having all your attention, and...!
[Trailing off into a pathetic whine here.]
And I'm not judging you. I've done some things that are probably kinkier, after all...
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...It involves Dazai-san. Do you really want to know?
[Turn back now, Ranpo.]
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[YES, IT WAS AN ALLEY it's hard to say if that made it better or worse.]
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[Wow, Kunikida... He can only imagine how awkward that would have been after Sanguis...
But Ranpo is right, in a way. And Atsushi turns his gaze away, because he knows he's right, but...]
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[Stiiiiilll not looking at Ranpo. This is embarrassing enough without seeing the judgement okay!]
...The only way to cure it was getting someone to offer you Chroma. I sort of... well... P-Pinned him to a wall and... bit him. And clawed him. A lot. There was blood and--
[He grimaces.]
....He really, really liked it. A lot.
[That is the understatement of the century Atsushi.]
AndthenwefinishedafterIwasbacktomysenses.
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Have you seen the way he gets when Kunikida-kun manhandles him? I'd be more shocked to hear he likes it gentle.
[And yes, he is taking into consideration that Atsushi is probably not exaggerating when he says a lot. No doubt Dazai's depravity ran deeper than either of the could fathom.]
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[Listen there was a lot of blood and Dazai's suit was barely clothing and--
Waaaaaaaait a second--]
D-Did you just...
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...did I what?
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