Inbox (super_deduction)

[sweetsleuth]

Comments

ACCIDENTAL MASS TEXT 11/18

[sweetsleuth]

[Hey, are you in Ranpo's contacts? If so, you might just be accidentally added a group text on the 18th, when all three moons are full.]

[The text contains a blurry selfie of Ranpo seated at a bar and holding a drink. The shoulder of his companion is only just visible in the corner, since he's not aiming the camera very well.]

KUNKIDA GOT ME DRUNK!!
dont tell yosano

[Please note that everyone can see each other's replies to this text. Ranpo may not reply right away.]

[tigerpoet]

Why? Is it another bad day for you?

[Doesn't immediately realize this is a mass text and not just meant for him.]

[sweetsleuth]

no its fine were on a date!!

[Ranpo has also not noticed how many recipients are being added to this conversation. Why does this app have a select all option for messages anyway? Who does that??]

[tigerpoet]

As long as you aren't too drunk and he takes care of you properly, there's nothing to worry about.

You two have fun.

[sweetsleuth]

i might be a little too drunk
but its fine because kunikida is the most vertuos
wait
virtgnous
virgin
no
v i r t u o u s
person in the whoe agency so as lpng as hes here well be okay!!

why is typing so hard

[tigerpoet]

That can happen when you drink.

I know Kunikida wouldn't do anything bad. I'm sure even Yosano-sensei would know that, although maybe not on the triple moon.

[Sanguis tendencies...]

[scarsnstripes]

[Um.]

He did?

Please try not to drink yourself sick, Ranpo.

[sweetsleuth]

im not gonna get sick!!
i said it was fine!

[Why, no, he doesn't realize he's replying to two different Atsushi's right now. This is what he gets for not numbering them when he had the chance.]

[But also-- depending on how slow Atsushi is to reply, he'll somehow see the othereither of them, with Ranpo grinning at the camera with his hair messy and clothes askew, his shirt unbuttoned enough so that his shoulder is peeking out.]

[Hm.]

[scarsnstripes]

[well.

That sure was a photo. Atsushi's going red in the face, because if Ranpo is still with Kunikida, did that mean--]

That is certainly a definition of fine.

Is Kunikida-san fine too?

[sweetsleuth]

[It's about a half-hour later where Ranpo is checking his phone again, sober from Certain Events, and--]

no nothing is fine!!
i didnt mean to send ths to you
Im sorry

[HE'S UPSET]

[And still too drunk to realize this is being sent to everyone still smh]

[scarsnstripes]

It's fine.

I don't think you sent anything bad? It wasn't too risque, even if it was a surprise.

[He thinks he's talking about the photo, RIP.]

Did things go well with Kunikida-san?

[He means the drinking, not the fucking. But it probably doesn't sound that way.]

Much later:

[flying_fish]

[WOW HE MIGHT be regretting giving Ranpo his number with the way his phone is exploding, especially with the more tmi texts and mentions of vomit. What the hell...Though he is glad he personally hasn't done such a thing before during his drunk episodes.]

Ok.

[YUUUP that's all Ranpo is getting while he silently judges them on the other side.]

RIP

[sweetsleuth]

[NOT ZED TOO... he feels like he needs a drink to get over the things he did while he was drinking.]

[But he's sober now and nursing a much deserved hangover -- and he can at least manage a reply.]

I'm so sorry.
I'm deleting all my contacts and memorizing the numbers so this doesn't happen again.

[At least that's something he can do??]

[flying_fish]

If that's the case and this kind of thing happens again, I will be impressed.

I'm guessing Kunikida is fine?

[Besides taking care of him. Setting that aside, he finds it funny that he knows both parties. Two reputations destroyed with a million texts.]

[sweetsleuth]

He's fine.
Hungover.
Trying not to be mad at me even if he should be.

[Maybe he was -- but seeing Ranpo looking so pathetic probably softened him up regardless.]

[flying_fish]

You two can probably talk it out when you're both sober.
Meanwhile, drink water.
I'm stuck in my apartment right now, but it looks like others can help you if you need it.

Sometime later

[handydandynotebook]

RANPO-SAN!!!!

You

I

Ugh

I don’t even

Oh god

Shit

[Guess who’s hungover and just saw all of this.]

[sweetsleuth]

I said I was sorry, right?

[He said he was sorry before he left, he did not say what he was sorry for.]

[handydandynotebook]

Yes but

Now everyone knows how the night went

It was supposed to be a nice date

I’m sorry too

But also mortified

Mortified and sorry

[sweetsleuth]

I'm never drinking again.

[handydandynotebook]

That makes two of us.

How are you feeling?

[tigerpoet]

Are you alright? I promised I would come in and check on you, if you don't mind.

[handydandynotebook]

[Oh god he’s not ready for this.]

Nakajima-sensei...I’m sorry you had to read all of that. I’m kind of a mess right now.

And very hungover. I can’t guarantee I’ll be a very good host.

[tigerpoet]

I'm not expecting you to be a good host. I'm expecting to come over and take care of you.

[handydandynotebook]

[Atsushi is a good boy.]

You don’t have to, but if you insist I’ll leave the door unlocked.