[So uh, he's kind of been searching for Ranpo all day given the special occasion, but after not receiving any replies to his messages he's starting to get worried. He even stopped by Ranpo and Yosano's apartment, only to discover that nobody was home. Needless to say he's rather worked up right now, and he's just going to keep blowing up Ranpo's phone until he gets a response.]
Ranpo-san, I don't mean to be nosy, but if you could at least message me back and assure me that you're alright I'll stop messaging you.
And if you turned on your location that would help as well. For no particular reason, of course.
[Please tell him this is a joke. He's been frantically searching for Ranpo for hours, worried to death that something bad might've happened to him, and he's out drinking??
Wait...]
Ranpo-san.
Have you been drinking alone?
[That might just be better than the alternative...]
[IT WOULD BE GROSS DURING CUDDLING OR BANG OKAY?? But no, that's not his main concern. He's just trying to look out for Ranpo's well-being, but he IS an adult...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Happy Birthmas Ranpo
Ranpo-san, I don't mean to be nosy, but if you could at least message me back and assure me that you're alright I'll stop messaging you.
And if you turned on your location that would help as well. For no particular reason, of course.
[Smooth.]
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srry my pone was off
phone
iim still a little drunk
but i cant sleep
wow you texted me a lot
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Wait...]
Ranpo-san.
Have you been drinking alone?
[That might just be better than the alternative...]
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i'm nott dazai
[SICK BURN AND HE'S NOT EVEN HERE??]
I ran into atsushi and w went to a bar
and i had a litle too much, but it took a while to relaly hit me i think
so i;m still drunk
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[And here we see just one of the many ways Kunikida will find himself scandalized in this world.]
Where are you now?
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is there even a drinking age here??
this isnt japom
japon
why
J A P A N
and im in his bed
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IN HIS BED...
HIS BED...
BED...
...................]
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Please turn on your location. I am coming to get you. Right now.
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im comfy
and atsushi said he's make me breakfast in the mornng
but hes asleep and its lonly sojust talk to me here instead!!
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Ranpo-san, I don't mean to be impolite, but the thought of someone taking you to bed while you're drunk doesn't sit well with me.
Even if it is Atsushi.
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hes asleep on the couch?
and i'm not sleeping on the floor?
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On the couch?
Then you two didn't
[CUTS HIMSELF OFF...]
Ah...I see I might've jumped to conclusions.
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did you think we were having sex???
I wouldnt be texting you if we were???
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No...?
[What kind of response is that??]
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okay good
cause we werent we just cuddled
but i guess i did with the other atsushi?? butvthat was different!
[HE STILL HAS HIS ATSUSHI'S MIXED UP HERE rip Kunikida....]
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THAT RANPO FUCKS???]
3/3
..................................]
You and Nakajima-sensei...?
[BUT THAT ATSUSHI SEEMED SO PROPER AND POLITE...??? Even more than ADA Atsushi?? How?? Why?? When??
More importantly why is Ranpo getting laid more than him?? Not that Kunikida cares about those things, but still...!!]
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[--naturally he thinks he means cuddling, since he said sleeping with their Atsushi was different, thus, is irrelevant to the conversation!]
its not realy a big deal??
i do it all the time now
its nice
[--again, he means cuddling.]
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WOW RANPO. WOW.]
I suppose you are an adult. And it counts as moonlacing...
[STILL CAN'T GET OVER THE FACT THAT APPARENTLY RANPO FUCKS...]
Forgive me for prying, Ranpo-san.
I don't mean to lecture, but shouldn't that be something you do while sober...?
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[It's just cuddling?? He knew Kunikida was uptight, but damn. He's gonna die here at this rate.]
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[IT WOULD BE GROSS DURING CUDDLING OR BANG OKAY?? But no, that's not his main concern. He's just trying to look out for Ranpo's well-being, but he IS an adult...
Doesn't mean he's not gonna worry though.]
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i woulnt be cuddling woth someone if i felt that sick!!
at least not with me facing a bucket or something
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Now HE'S confused.]
Ranpo-san...I merely wish for you to stay safe.
During "cuddling" and sex.
[Why is cuddling in quotation marks?? Who knows.]
But I apologize for getting off-track. My original reason for contacting you was entirely different.
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oh
right
probably cause it was my birthday right?
i know you and yosano-san wouldve known
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