Inbox (super_deduction)

[sweetsleuth]

Comments

[sweetsleuth]

What do you mean? You should always ask me for things like this!

Anyway you should probably check your dryer. It was making a weird noise last night, right?
Your keys are in the lint trap.

[This will be 100% accurate, somehow.]

[tigerpoet]

[Two minutes later:]

thank you you are a god among men
text you after class

[sweetsleuth]

You better!
It's not as fun if you don't let me explain how I figured it out!

But have a good day!
And don't run into the classroom.

[Will he heed this warning, or will he rush face-first into the "saran-wrap in front of the doorway" trick that his students had time to set up because he was late?]

[tigerpoet]

[Several hours and one thankfully avoided prank later...]

Thank you for the warning. I hope your day was good too?

[sweetsleuth]

[He gets a selfie of Ranpo -- sitting on the couch with a certain little white fox all curled up on his chest, sleeping.]

Oh, pretty good aside from the fact that I haven't been able to move for three hours.

[tigerpoet]

That's just part of parenthood, I'm sorry to say.

How did you know where my keys were, and what did the number of books I checked out have to do with anything?

[sweetsleuth]

I'm glad you asked!

I asked how many books, because I knew you would tell me what kind of books they were anyway, but that would have been faster to answer!

If you had checked out a novel, you would have wanted to read it all night, and would have gone to bed too late to get anything else done. In that case, they would have been in your clothes hamper.

But poetry is different! You need time to let the poems digest whenever the tone shifts, so putting the book down or pausing every so often makes for a more enjoyable experience! And it's probably more respectful to the poet not to speed-read through all of them, which is something Atsushi would consider when reading!

And because you were interested enough in each book to have gotten three at once, you were too distracted to remember to empty your pockets, and washed your pants with your keys still inside. Since you didn't notice it when you moved them to the dryer, I figured they were in there.

[tigerpoet]

Have I told you lately that you're amazing?

[sweetsleuth]

You could afford to say it a little more often!

[tigerpoet]

You're spectacular. The most brilliant person I know. I knew that if I asked you you'd be able to find them for me no problem.

1/2

[sweetsleuth]

[P R A I S E]

[Gonna screenshot this and save it for his collection.]

[sweetsleuth]

Of course I would! Something like that is child's play for a brilliant detective like me!!

Of course, normally I don't waste my time on things like this, but you get special privileges because I love you and all.

[tigerpoet]

I wouldn't normally ask you if I weren't panicking.

I love you too. More each and every day.

[sweetsleuth]

You don't have to wait until you're panicking to depend on me! Even for little things like this.

Besides, I could use the practice! Especially during the full moon.
I get a little stupider around then.

[A little, he says.]

[tigerpoet]

Even then you're still leagues smarter than the rest of us.

I'll ask. As long as you promise to depend on me whenever there's something I can help with.

[sweetsleuth]

[He fights the urge to compare everyone else to ignorant babies in favor of gay sappiness--]

I promise!
I'm getting better about that now. Even if I still need to figure some things out on my own sometimes.








But actually, I could probably use some advice on how to move a baby without waking it, because I gotta pee.

[tigerpoet]

[everyone is in gay baby jail]

Slowly and gently. Try not to jostle its head at all. I'm not sure I can tell you the best way to pick up this particular shape of baby...

[sweetsleuth]

It's hard to tell where his head is when he's all curled up like this.

He's fluff, with a tail.

[But he'll give it a shot! And not even ten seconds later, a picture follows of... a cryptid?? There is only a white blur stretched across the screen as the smol fox nyooms across Ranpo's lap and up along the edge of the couch.]

Well, I tried.

[tigerpoet]

Good on you for trying. Sometimes that happens.

[sweetsleuth]

At least he's not in a bad mood. I woke him up from a nap yesterday, and he just screamed until I could catch him and hug him.

Like fox screamed, not baby screamed.

He's loud for a little guy.

[tigerpoet]

The smaller they are the louder they get.

[sweetsleuth]

I guess that explains Mister Fancy Hat.

[tigerpoet]

Did you know that he's taller than the Chuuya I know?

[sweetsleuth]

They come even smaller than that?

[tigerpoet]

151 centimeters in life.